Ayannali Blog

Thoughts and ideas and poems and...whatever I chose

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Location: Connecticut, United States

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

So much on my mind

I have found it very hard to get back into the "swing of things" when I come back from the UK. Normally it's just Jet lag that goes away in a few days. This time it's different, it's more... It's harder.

Getting a good night's rest is harder because I slept horribly while in the UK; being tired all day and wanting to lay down is a bit disconcerting as well. Trying to be in the right frame of mind at work to sit and do work, especially when things aren't being done right in my absence.

I could blame it on the pregnancy, but it's more then that. It's everything that's gone with it. Telling my family , getting the I'm disappointed at your irresponsibility (yes I was irresponsible but it's done now! Can we PLEASE move past that!!!) You are setting yourself up for heartache, you don't know what you are doing ...And so on and so on. And that's just my side of the family.

The father hasn't told his parents....The return from out of the country in two weeks. And NOW the father tells me that his parents are very religious and very conservative. That they believe in the sanctity of marriage and don't believe in divorce. That no child should be born out of wedlock, that they don't want to be shamed by their neighbors and family. Why does this line of talk frighten me?
Also I have been told that he would not be opposed to me moving to the UK. I had thought it was a possibility but I am not sure how well that would work with my son. Another thing to think about.

And speaking of the little one (yes I know I wasn't), besides making me tired the little one is fine, everything is normal so far, and I can't wait for the big doctor's appointment on the 28th. Bloodwork and ultrasound will be done then.

My son starts camp today. Thank goodness :)

I guess that sums it up.

oh BTW - anyone have tips on how to raise an 11 year old boy??? I'm getting lost


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